Every time people ask about my "husband" or Via's papa, I always need to explain that we are not together so on and so forth. And this afternoon, upon learning that I have a daughter already, a new acquaintance was asking about my husband. I told her that we were in living separately but in good terms. I told her that we see each other every two weeks. And then she huffed and puffed. Heheh! Kidding! But she might as well have done that. She told me to pay a surprise visit because my husband may be living with someone else in our own home while I'm away.
I don't know why but I have no doubts about my husband really living alone and keeping our home, our home. I know there may come a time when he will look for someone else for company but I have a feeling, it is not that time yet. I'm keeping my faith on my husband. I have to. I'm still looking forward to building our lives together.
And then she told me that I have to agree in marrying my husband. I keep saying no because of the fact that I don't believe in getting married. She said that if I finally agree to marry him like he asks me a couple of times already, then I wouldn't have to be scared of losing him to somebody. At that point, everything she said from the beginning was doubtful. I don't believe that you can hold a person by the neck once you get married. He will still be his own person and I will be my own person when we get married. So what's the point of marrying?
Monday, May 30, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Via Turned 6 Months Yesterday
After work, I passed by Red Ribbon on my way home to buy some cake for Via. I was supposed to buy the small one but then, I saw a bigger dedication cake which is within the budget. I thought that there are so many of us at home that everyone should have her slice of cake.
My sister told me that I should have bought noodles instead of cake. It was too late because I already spent the budget on that cake. At home, my mom prepared "Nilagang Baka" (beef casserole) for dinner and the I got a small piece of carrots and potato for my Via. It was going to be her first semi-solid.
And so, yesterday, Via went down to join everyone for dinner.
My sister told me that I should have bought noodles instead of cake. It was too late because I already spent the budget on that cake. At home, my mom prepared "Nilagang Baka" (beef casserole) for dinner and the I got a small piece of carrots and potato for my Via. It was going to be her first semi-solid.
And so, yesterday, Via went down to join everyone for dinner.
Via is waiting for her party to start.
Hanging out in Kuya Gab's room.
Via taking her first (semi-)solids.
Via and Kuya Gab
I get to eat Via-ia.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Via Attends Mass in CTK
I asked my brother today to drive us to the nearest church.
I was supposed to ask my mom over the phone if I could
use one of our parked vehicles when I have an expired license.
Thank goodness, my brother is not going anywhere today
and so, he could drive us and pick us up after the service.
After three weeks of not going to church, Via finally attended another
Eucharistic mass. She was awake the whole time.
She keeps turning her head from left to right and back
when she hears the priest voice over the speakers.
At Home On A Friday
After getting home from work, I wanted to go to bed. When I got out of the shower, Via wasn't in my room so I looked around for her. I found (the nanny and) her in my sister's room spending time with my nephew. I got out my camera and took the place of the nanny.
The nanny got these pictures.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Tough Moms
In my new work, I have come to know two moms like I am with such interesting (somehow juicy) stories about their latest pregnancy and their lives in general.
First Mom:
She started out as a young mom when she was just in her teens 15 years ago. Because she had nothing at that time (since she's not working and had no funds ready for the baby), there came a time that she had to feed her first born nam or rice milk. She raised her kid alone because the father of her daughter was a good-for-nothing kind of man.
She met another one who posed as a single man but in fact, was already married. She didn't find out until she was already pregnant with her second child. She can't do anything but hold on to that man because of her situation. But she had to bear with the thought that she wasn't the priority. No one knew about her second pregnancy because she sent her eldest daughter abroad to study and she kept her secret really well. She wanted to be strong for her child especially then when they seem to be alone in all of that. She told me she still went as far as Divisoria to buy stuff she could sell and make some money. But the first wife found out when she was about to give birth in two weeks time. The father of her child had to be careful when he gave her financial support. But she was really thankful that the father was responsible enough to send her aid. Unfortunately, it only ended in monetary aid.
She told me that she was alone on the early morning when she was going to give birth. The child was already crowning when she had to knock on her neighbor's door for help and go down flights of stairs from the fifth floor of their apartment building. Days before this, she found a lying-in nearby through the internet. She was very thankful to God that her labor and delivery wasn't too hard on her. And that she found a really good obstetrician in that lying-in clinic.
Now, she is still getting financial support from the father but I don't remember her saying that they're still together.
Second Mom:
She the one I just talked to today at work. She's a newbie just like me. She's in her second "marriage" right now. She is still married to the first one technically because there's no divorce in her church. She has three children right now. The first two is from the first marriage and the youngest is from her latest relationship. She had to get away from her first husband because the husband got abusive some of the times and she wasn't tough enough to take all of it
Now she met her second husband through her mom. He was her mother's online boyfriend. And they were already planning to get married. The mom asked her daughter to meet the man who was going to be her step dad. My friend didn't expound on it (because we were just in a short break at that time) but she ended getting pregnant by that man. And so, I think for about three years mother and daughter are not on speaking terms. Her mom is in the States right now. My friend doesn't mind at all because she feels her grandmother played the mother role in her life (after her parents separated a long time ago).
And all I can think of is one word: awkward. How is this all going to end up? I don't know.
So she continues her story. When she was about to give birth, she only had P2000.00 with her because the father was abroad and was not yet getting paid for the work he's doing. She also gave birth to a lying-in assisted by a midwife. Days before the birthday, she was told that her baby was lying transverse and should give birth by cesarean section. She knew she wouldn't be able to afford it. And so, what she did was walk around thinking it would help position the baby right. She said God was so good to her because the baby turned around to be in the right position. (In my case, my Via stayed where she is, head up, bottom down south. Thanks anak.)
She also gave birth early in the morning. She gave birth without anesthesia. (This was the first thing that she said that triggered our long conversation.) And I asked if it was her choice to give birth by Lamaze. And she said no and that she can't afford an epidural that was given regularly in hospitals. I couldn't imagine the pain she had to go through. But she said, God gave her the strength she needed to have a safe delivery. Closing the episiotomy wound (which I don't understand why there was in the first place when it was her third child already) was the most painful of all. The midwife was so sleepy that she sewed over the vaginal opening instead of the episiotomy wound. The midwife said she had to do it over again. And my friend couldn't do anything but agree.
It was all done without anesthesia. Again, I can't imagine.
As I hear their stories, I felt like I'm such an ingrate and a whiny little brat. These girls have what mothers should be made of - tough, direction and courage to go through all of this. In the future, when I have to face situations as bad as these, I will think of them and tell myself, I can also survive because others had done it before and they came out without scars.
I look up to these girls even though they have made some mistakes. I look up to them because they are able to withstand those kinds of situations at a time when they are so vulnerable because of pregnancy. I want to be tough like them.
-----------------
Note to self: People has their interesting stories to tell once you let them open up. These people are basically strangers. I realize I have the talent to let people feel comfortable enough to share their life story to me. (Now, I have a talent at last LOL!)
First Mom:
She started out as a young mom when she was just in her teens 15 years ago. Because she had nothing at that time (since she's not working and had no funds ready for the baby), there came a time that she had to feed her first born nam or rice milk. She raised her kid alone because the father of her daughter was a good-for-nothing kind of man.
She met another one who posed as a single man but in fact, was already married. She didn't find out until she was already pregnant with her second child. She can't do anything but hold on to that man because of her situation. But she had to bear with the thought that she wasn't the priority. No one knew about her second pregnancy because she sent her eldest daughter abroad to study and she kept her secret really well. She wanted to be strong for her child especially then when they seem to be alone in all of that. She told me she still went as far as Divisoria to buy stuff she could sell and make some money. But the first wife found out when she was about to give birth in two weeks time. The father of her child had to be careful when he gave her financial support. But she was really thankful that the father was responsible enough to send her aid. Unfortunately, it only ended in monetary aid.
She told me that she was alone on the early morning when she was going to give birth. The child was already crowning when she had to knock on her neighbor's door for help and go down flights of stairs from the fifth floor of their apartment building. Days before this, she found a lying-in nearby through the internet. She was very thankful to God that her labor and delivery wasn't too hard on her. And that she found a really good obstetrician in that lying-in clinic.
Now, she is still getting financial support from the father but I don't remember her saying that they're still together.
Second Mom:
She the one I just talked to today at work. She's a newbie just like me. She's in her second "marriage" right now. She is still married to the first one technically because there's no divorce in her church. She has three children right now. The first two is from the first marriage and the youngest is from her latest relationship. She had to get away from her first husband because the husband got abusive some of the times and she wasn't tough enough to take all of it
Now she met her second husband through her mom. He was her mother's online boyfriend. And they were already planning to get married. The mom asked her daughter to meet the man who was going to be her step dad. My friend didn't expound on it (because we were just in a short break at that time) but she ended getting pregnant by that man. And so, I think for about three years mother and daughter are not on speaking terms. Her mom is in the States right now. My friend doesn't mind at all because she feels her grandmother played the mother role in her life (after her parents separated a long time ago).
And all I can think of is one word: awkward. How is this all going to end up? I don't know.
So she continues her story. When she was about to give birth, she only had P2000.00 with her because the father was abroad and was not yet getting paid for the work he's doing. She also gave birth to a lying-in assisted by a midwife. Days before the birthday, she was told that her baby was lying transverse and should give birth by cesarean section. She knew she wouldn't be able to afford it. And so, what she did was walk around thinking it would help position the baby right. She said God was so good to her because the baby turned around to be in the right position. (In my case, my Via stayed where she is, head up, bottom down south. Thanks anak.)
She also gave birth early in the morning. She gave birth without anesthesia. (This was the first thing that she said that triggered our long conversation.) And I asked if it was her choice to give birth by Lamaze. And she said no and that she can't afford an epidural that was given regularly in hospitals. I couldn't imagine the pain she had to go through. But she said, God gave her the strength she needed to have a safe delivery. Closing the episiotomy wound (which I don't understand why there was in the first place when it was her third child already) was the most painful of all. The midwife was so sleepy that she sewed over the vaginal opening instead of the episiotomy wound. The midwife said she had to do it over again. And my friend couldn't do anything but agree.
It was all done without anesthesia. Again, I can't imagine.
As I hear their stories, I felt like I'm such an ingrate and a whiny little brat. These girls have what mothers should be made of - tough, direction and courage to go through all of this. In the future, when I have to face situations as bad as these, I will think of them and tell myself, I can also survive because others had done it before and they came out without scars.
I look up to these girls even though they have made some mistakes. I look up to them because they are able to withstand those kinds of situations at a time when they are so vulnerable because of pregnancy. I want to be tough like them.
-----------------
Note to self: People has their interesting stories to tell once you let them open up. These people are basically strangers. I realize I have the talent to let people feel comfortable enough to share their life story to me. (Now, I have a talent at last LOL!)
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Full Timer and Part Timer
I love the fact that now I have two jobs, a baby and studies to juggle. I feel like Superwoman. Amidst this excitement towards my new-found ability, I am somehow anxious that there will come a time that I won't be able to continue doing that. Somehow, I will end up not catching one of them and mess everything up. I just hope I get to hold on to my kid if that happens. She's the most fragile of them all.
Yay! I finally got a part time job in the evening. I will still hold on to the full time work I have in the morning. It's really a blessing that I got into my new work to meet this person who also recruited me to work part time in the evening. Thank you Lord! I'm going to do the same kind of work I'm doing in my full-time work so it's going to be a breeze... I hope.
I haven't seen the fruits of my labor and it's too early to say if I'm going to harvest any fruits at all. I just hope there's enough for Via and me to get by. I'm doing my best as long as my health can take it. I just need to be positive all the time.
I realize now that from now on, I will be able to spend time with my daughter for five hours a day. And during that time, I probably will be asking her to let me sleep. I just hope I won't be too exhausted because I really want to spend quality time with her each and every single day. I don't want to be a mother who plays with her kid when she is free or only during the weekends. Dear Lord, give me strength.
Yay! I finally got a part time job in the evening. I will still hold on to the full time work I have in the morning. It's really a blessing that I got into my new work to meet this person who also recruited me to work part time in the evening. Thank you Lord! I'm going to do the same kind of work I'm doing in my full-time work so it's going to be a breeze... I hope.
I haven't seen the fruits of my labor and it's too early to say if I'm going to harvest any fruits at all. I just hope there's enough for Via and me to get by. I'm doing my best as long as my health can take it. I just need to be positive all the time.
I realize now that from now on, I will be able to spend time with my daughter for five hours a day. And during that time, I probably will be asking her to let me sleep. I just hope I won't be too exhausted because I really want to spend quality time with her each and every single day. I don't want to be a mother who plays with her kid when she is free or only during the weekends. Dear Lord, give me strength.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
To My Mom
We grew up believing that nothing can go wrong when you're around.
You are our go-to person.
You didn't make us believe that you can give us everything
But we grew up believing you can do anything.
You (along with Daddy) sheltered us from all things that can harm us.
You showed us that taking care of your family is of utmost importance.
You didn't make us want anything even if we can't have everything.
When Daddy and I get into fights, you were the one who persuade us to make up.
When we are the ones not getting along, it's so embarrassing that you (instead of me)
Go to my room to befriend me again (I'm sorry for being a brat).
You never let us (me and my siblings) feel that you love the other one more.
You love each one of us equally.
You love everyone in this family wholly.
You didn't intend to show but we know
That we are your life.
You truly are the light of our home.
And if we gave you heartaches before (and we will probably give you more in the future),
you are steadfast in your love.
You showed us how God loves us by being you.
We are so blessed that you are our mother.
And I thank God that He granted us You.
I hope that you will be here always.
I hope that you will be here always.
And give us a chance everyday to show that we love you
Even though we cannot really give back the same selfless love you have given us.
Only a mother can love the same way God loves His children. Unconditionally.
Because of all these and more, I want to be just like you.
My Parents Gift To Via
My mom and dad recently bought some clothes for their grandchildren - my nephew, Gabino and my daughter, Via. My mom left it on the table by my bedroom door. She told me over the phone that I need to open it immediately because they bought something cute. She was really excited about it so I didn't make her wait.
I thought that the dress was a bit small and I'm afraid that Via
will outgrow them soon. And so I asked the nanny to wash it and hang it to dry
so that Via will wear it tomorrow.
It's good that the size of these adorable shoes were a bit bigger
than what she wears right now. She will be able to use this for a couple months.
I find these really cute.
My Baby's First Toy
Well, it's not exactly her first but it's the first that I bought with my own money. I felt proud that I was able to buy one for her eventually. I really thought it was about time that she gets an interactive toy because she is becoming so attentive with her surroundings already. I think she needed more color around her.
I'm just appalled by the prices. One toy is almost the price of one can of milk. I know this toy is as important as her food. She needs this so I placed it in the cart along with the other things I was buying for her.
I'm just appalled by the prices. One toy is almost the price of one can of milk. I know this toy is as important as her food. She needs this so I placed it in the cart along with the other things I was buying for her.
His "mane" has plastic inside so it makes a lot of noisy scratchy sound. And the inside of his head has a blunt rattle sound which I prefer than the sharp sounds of squeaky toys that could hurt my baby's (and mine too) hearing. I wiped the whole thing with a wet cloth so that it will be clean enough to let my baby put its parts into her mouth.
I bought a teether already. I'm not really anticipating too much on having her first tooth because I think her gums make a cuter smile.
I also bought extra nipples from Pigeon brand
because these were the contour my baby prefers in her milk bottle.
I'm Going To Practice Putting Eye Make Up
I know I'm a bit old already to be practicing putting on make-up but I hope it's not too late. I kind of envy my peers who have been wearing make-up and makes it look so easy. Even my fellow bloggers are blogging about make-up and it's so hard for me to comment on it because I don't know anything about it.
And now, I firmly resolve to learn all about make-up, particularly eye make up :)
And now, I firmly resolve to learn all about make-up, particularly eye make up :)
We passed by Body Shop the other day to buy some make-up. I only wanted to buy the lip and cheek tint but my mom wanted to buy me more since I was looking at the eye make up they had there. Style ko lang yun! Ahaha!
I also got a paddle brush which I haven't had before.
I got an pencil eyeliner. The lady suggested that I don't buy the liquid form because I'm still practicing on putting eye make-up. I got the earth colors for the eye shadow. And I also got a "Flawless" foundation which I plan to use only on special days. And of course, the lip and cheek tint on regular days. We got a free Vitamin E moisturizer and toner.
This is not me! Heheh! Kidding! This is me.
The sales lady gave me some tutorial on how to put on the eye make-up I bought.
So she applied the top and bottom colors. And I left the store wearing them.
I liked it so much. She also placed liquid eyeliner.
I hope I could do the same thing on my own.
My Lola pose.
The Manang is now a lady. LOL!
Ventosa at Home
I have been suffering from upper back pain. I don't know the reason why. And I have asked my baby's nanny to press on my back (with her hands and even elbow) a couple of times to relieve some of the pain. I have even visited my husband to give me a back massage. That did the trick. He frequently pays for body massages because of his physical work (as a tennis instructor) and has, I think, memorized the techniques already.
However, my mom heard from my nanny that I was complaining of back pain a few days ago and so she scheduled a body massage home service. She scheduled a ventosa for me.
This is my first time to have a Ventosa and so, I didn't know what to anticipate. That made me a little bit anxious because I knew this was the kind that involves fire. Har! Har!
There were six glasses all in all on my back. But I covered up the other four in the photo because it was already way down my back and I don't want to scare anyone LOL! There was an intense sucking sensation but it wasn't painful or scalding as I had expected. While the six glasses were doing its thing, the lady massage the rest of my body. She removed them eventually and continued massaging my back.
After the massage, I checked myself in the mirror and found the marks on my back which are still present right this minute. There was really no pain.
My back pain was still there though. :( Even after three people have already massaged my back for the past few days already.
Maybe I need another Ventosa. Heheh!
Friday, May 6, 2011
My First Aid / Beauty Kit
I want to bring this with me all the time but it has become heavier than before. And sometimes, I don't even open it during the day. And so, most of the time I leave it at home.
So here is the insides of my personal kit.
I have two of these pouches from Philippine Airlines. They give this out to the passengers so that they could freshen themselves. I got one going abroad and another one on my flight back to Manila.
One by one, I added some necessities and not-so-necessary stuff in that pouch.
I got most of them from hotels from all around.
I even bought an antibiotic for skin wounds just in case I happen to bruise myself.
I'm not really sure if it's appropriate to post a photo of my daily medications.
Some of you may be against the RH bill and may take it against me
that I'm taking contraceptive pills.
To each, his (or her) own.
This one is originally from the pouch.
I didn't bother dusting it off before taking a picture.
I haven't used this one yet.
I also have the following: a Myra E face powder, my eyeglass screw kit, lip and cheek tint (the only thing that qualifies this as a beauty kit), nail cutter, mirror, eye drops, Johnson's loose powder
(for my face, my neck, under my brassieres and my foot!? Yes, it's really applicable from head to toe.),
Betadine ointment and hand lotion.
Special Feature: This one was given by Mommy during a Christmas of long, long ago.
I think she bought it in Regalong Pambahay.
And I like this very much.
So I hope my personal kit wasn't too personal. :)
I wish to add more stuff inside and eventually, I would
need a bigger pouch.
Kamiseta's Dressing Room
I have visited Kamiseta in Shangri-la Mall around a month ago. I haven't been to their stores for more than a year because the displays in their store doesn't interest me. All I notice is the changing celebrity models endorsing their clothes.
When I last visited their branch, I found out that they have a dressing room made out of mirrors and interesting upholsteries. And so I took a picture while inside the dressing room. My mom followed me inside and she complained that she will run through a glass wall eventually with a dressing room like that.
It's like you're entering something in a fun house in a carnival. You need to put your arms up in front of you so that you won't bump into a glass wall (like what my mom was afraid of). By the way, I bought a jumpsuit, a big one. Har! Har!
When I last visited their branch, I found out that they have a dressing room made out of mirrors and interesting upholsteries. And so I took a picture while inside the dressing room. My mom followed me inside and she complained that she will run through a glass wall eventually with a dressing room like that.
Upon entering, it takes time to get used to the room. And it takes time to figure out
the entrance to a cubicle if you're going to fit something.
There were too many mirrors and the "doorway" to a cubicle should
have been lined with something so that it will be easily identified.
Here, I just took a picture of myself carrying something that I didn't buy
because I wasn't able to fit in it. Har! Har!
I wanted one of these. It's so cute.
The cushion was designed with deep and light purple, sky blue and beige
polka dots.
It's like you're entering something in a fun house in a carnival. You need to put your arms up in front of you so that you won't bump into a glass wall (like what my mom was afraid of). By the way, I bought a jumpsuit, a big one. Har! Har!
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