Motherhood Takes Away My Pride

First, Yaya left Via's milk can open.  Second, the other maid left the bug spray on Via's table where all her feeding equipment were.  The second blew my top off.  I was raging mad.  Of all the things one can do, it is posing harm to my Via that would somehow make me topple the place over.  I was really mad yesterday morning while preparing for our weekend trip to Tagaytay.

I think I said some nasty stuff that people weren't used to.  So the nanny was crying in the van.  I also felt bad but most of all, still mad about the whole thing.  After an hour or so, I was thinking about how she really cares for my Via.  She wasn't the one who placed the bug spray. It was another maid but still, it was her responsibility (and so was mine - but I was in the bathroom at that time and I could not have stopped the other maid from doing that).

She was sniffing in the car and then she spoke that she was leaving at the end of the month.  And that made me more furious.  I was thinking that this girl doesn't care about my Via because she doesn't have second thoughts in leaving her behind.

I've done some thinking and I have come to the conclusion that even though the nanny and me have some differences, we both love my daughter.  And I can sense that in her.  I can fully trust Via to her as much as I can trust my own mother.  She has no complaints in losing sleep at night because of my daughter.  And as my mother has said, she had never seen someone as sensitive with the needs of my daughter.

And so, I was preparing to apologize for my behavior that morning.  

I don't mind being the person on the lower end of the pole.  If it's for my daughter, I'm okay with it.

After finding out that she wasn't feeling well that morning due to her menstruation and she was a bit woozy (because she really have these symptoms even before), I apologized and gave her a sisterly hug.   She hugged me back and that was it.