Last night, my husband was reprimanding me over the phone when he heard me saying "Crap! Crap! Crap!" (aka Sh/t x3!). He said he never wants me to say foul words like that. I rolled my eyes because he couldn't see me over the phone. He was really serious about it and gave me a litany of why I should not do that again. I said that I wasn't saying that in front of our daughter and besides, it's a word more subtle than saying the usual foul words other people say.
We had two fights this week. I don't remember the other one. It always ends up into a banter which sometimes are not friendly, over the phone. I think we miss each other so much that the situation frustrates us so much.
Next weekend, he said, I shouldn't break my promise of staying with him at our apartment and I should make sure to bring Via with me. He misses our daughter so much. And I feel guilty of not staying there as I have promised (for fear of getting on my mother's bad side again).
I was thinking as I was in bed last night, that I have to make all of this work. Everyone keeps saying that it is up to me. And I have decided that I needed to set it up so that everyone will have to be happy about my decision. But of course, it seems impossible for my parents but still, it's worth a try.
I'm choosing to build my own family with Via's father. He doesn't know it although he hopes for it, that he is my last stop. He is my choice. Not because we have a daughter together, but because he really is who I'm looking for. I think we are a perfect fit.