Milestone Alert at Four Months

My baby just made a complete roll over.  She's been doing half roll overs for the past few weeks already.  But today, just now, she turned prone from supine and then after holding up her head a few minutes, she rolled over back to her supine position.

Note to self:  Create a fence around the bed.

Dada Day Today

Since I'm free today and tomorrow, I took this chance to visit our apartment with my baby.  My hubby was so happy that we were able to come and spend the day with him.  So he didn't schedule any games today.  It was our chance because on Monday, momma is going to have to focus on both work and study again.

I love looking at my husband and my daughter together.  Our daughter keeps rolling over to his side of the bed.  And she even fell asleep while her face was on his chest.  My husband was so happy all throughout the day.  He was even so amazed when Via rolled over and kept her head up. Hubby took a phone video for himself.  And we were both laughing when eventually she was getting tired and couldn't put her head up anymore.  She fell on her face and when it happened again, she cried out for help and we turned her supine.

Hubby heard her babble for the first time.  She's making so many sounds already.  And this especially happens when I sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.  But when my husband sang his own version, our Via stops and just looks at him blankly.

Today was a happy day for the three of us. Thank you Lord for today.

How This Wednesday Went

Aside from hearing vintage 80's music on the radio while I was on the road, I was also able to accomplish a few things on my list which were almost forgotten like the 80's music because I couldn't find the time to do most of them.

1.  I was able to get my new PRC license.
     My picture looked horrendous but there's nothing more I can do about it.
2. I was able to have a chance to help out someone today.
    I know that when you do a good deed, you should keep it to yourself.
    But I would just like to share about it because people might ignore
    opportunities to help out when it comes their way.
3. I was disappointed because there was no opening for the job that I wanted.
    I have to wait until August before I could apply for it.
    And after August, I still have to wait a few months if I got accepted for the
    pre-residency in the department I wanted to enter.
4. I'm also kind of anxious in applying because I don't really know what employers
    would think of me when I'm already this "old" when I apply.
5. I'm thinking that the only way I could get the employers attention is a
    very high grade on their entrance exam and I don't know if my senile brain
    can take anymore studying.  I truly hope that I can get this job for my daughter.
    It's the only way she can be proud of her mother in the future.
6. I was able to get home in time to watch my favorite Korean novela, My Princess.
7. My daughter is not giving me a hard time today.
    She falls asleep on her own without the need for milk or any cuddling.
8. I have something to say here but changed my mind.
    I may be jeopardizing something important if I did. 
    Maybe I will share about it in the near future. 
9.  My current employer is forcing me to take a leave.  
     That means I am not committing a breach of contract.
     Hence, I'm going to get my last pay.  (Crossing my fingers!)

I have more in mind that I can't put to words right now.

I'm Waiting For Her To Wake Up

I don't want to jinx it but it seems that my daughter is sleeping longer these days.  She feeds less frequently.  Before, she awakes every two hours for her milk bottle.  But these days, she wakes up after four hours.  That means more sleep and more mommy time for me.

Awhile ago, I woke up when I felt her stirring beside me.  She started to cry so I placed the pacifier over her mouth to buy time while I prepare her milk bottle.  As soon as I'm through, she's sleeping soundly and her pacifier dangling from her mouth.

If she doesn't wake up in the next hour or so, I have to carry her and feed her nevertheless.  If she pushes the milk away then that's that.  I have to make a fresh bottle of milk when she wakes up.

(Not So) Awful Wednesday

I think it was the blouse I wore yesterday that caused all the trouble.

I wore a blouse that I haven't worn in a long time because it was a bit flashy.  Well, the print in front was.  

Anyway, within the first hour of my stay in the office, I made a boo-boo that earned me a memo from the management.  I called a client 10 minutes early.  I was looking at his previous schedule, that's why. Darn those renewal.  I wish that he enrolled for the same schedule but it didn't matter anymore.  The damage was done.  I earned some incentives out of the his enrollment but it earned me a memo too.  Tsk!

Since I'm on probation in this company, a little mistake is unacceptable.  Therefore, I got a mark in my record already.  Ugh!  I hate that.  And I'll probably make more mistakes in the future.  It's sad because receiving such memo (which was a little brutal, in my opinion) makes me less motivated to work more efficiently for the company.  I think there were three of us who received this memo.  And I think they were using a template.  

I went to the pantry a few minutes after receiving the memo to show the memo to a friend.  And my friend shrugged it off saying that she has received more than one of them.  We were talking about it after that.  

I haven't received a memo in my life ever.  Yes, this was the first.  And it's just sad that the memo was so negative.  Some people said that after one receives a memo, it is certain that the management will find more fault at that person in the future.  Ugh!  

Off to the next reason why yesterday was kind of awful.  I had my mole removed.  I know it will cause a lot of ridicule since it was located in my forehead.  I'm used to the ridicule because I've had this mole since high school.  

I don't know why but people notice that "beauty mark" only after some time.  But then, while I was pregnant, it suddenly grew faster than it had for the past 15 years.  And it is quite alarming because I knew someone's husband died because of malignant melanoma before.  And it took only three months after they found out about the cancer when the malignancy metastasized to the brain.  And the husband eventually died in less than six months.  

And that is why, I wanted my mole removed as soon as it was possible to have it biopsied.

The bad thing about this was that, the surgeon decided to remove it in the OR.  I was not thrilled to have it done inside an OR because I thought it was a procedure done inside a doctor's clinic.  And so, yesterday, it was scheduled.

The kind nurse wheeled me to the designated OR and when I saw that I had to lie down on the table, I asked him if I really have to because it was just a small mole (that was growing big) and I wasn't going to have a major operation.  He told me not to worry.  It is just necessary that I lie down.  

And so they covered me and even my face.  Only a small part of my forehead was exposed after they placed Betadine.  

I want to hurt the two surgery residents.  It was because they were laughing at the case.  They weren't really laughing at me. They were also in disbelief why a case like mine have to be done in a major OR.  I understand completely why they reacted that way.  What I don't understand is that they keep on laughing at my case while they were slicing through my forehead until the time they were done with the stitches. They were making insensitive comments all throughout the procedure. 

When they removed the covers and I was again sitting in the wheelchair (even against my will because I know I am able to walk back to the waiting room) after the 20-minute procedure, I wasn't speaking or talking to them even if they were talking to me.  When I couldn't contain it anymore, I told the resident doctor "Alam niyo nakaka-offend kayo.  Sana ginagawa niyo lang yan kung natutulog ang pasyente niyo" ("You know what, I was really offended.  It would have been fine if I wasn't conscious the whole time")  With that, everyone in the room was alarmed.  (My surgeon already left a lot sooner before everything transpired.)  Then they were asking what they did wrong or if my wound hurt that much.  But of course, I wasn't answering.  

The kind nurse (who wheeled me to and from the OR) was asking what happened because he wasn't there during the procedure.  He told me that he needed to make an incident report regarding this.  And I told him, he doesn't need to do that because I wasn't going to make any complaints.  (But now, I'm pondering on it.)  I asked him instead, to give me the full names of the two residents.  Right now, I have their names. 

I don't mind if they found the case beneath their surgical practice.  They were saying that I was having a facial and that they were in the wrong profession.  (They were implying that only a dermatologist should do this kind of procedure.)  They are just residents, my goodness!  And they already think highly of themselves.  Just imagine how they will be when they pass their boards to become certified surgeons.  

I don't mind that they felt that the case was beneath them.  What I do mind is that they keep laughing at the case when I felt pain with their suturing.  I'd like to suture them on the face too and laugh at them while I'm at it.  I could only lie quietly and still on that table as much as I could because they might make a mistake and blame it on me.  I don't want to give them that chance. 

Also, if they were that good, they won't make any blunder using the sutures and the surgical needles.  They keep complaining that the instrument don't have a good bite or hold.  Since I was awake, I noted that they were pulling the thread and accidentally letting it go.  They kept apologizing for their blunders while attending to the wound site.  If they were wise enough, they could have just pretended that nothing happened because I wasn't able to see anything.  But of course, it was obvious, they couldn't hold on to that needle!

I felt really bad during the procedure because I really didn't want to remove that mole.  Actually, that mole defines me.  People know me by that mole.  Funny but I'm not kidding. Sometimes, when people make fun of my mole, it was out of affection.  You could tell the difference it from just being humiliated. And who in the world would like to be set on the operating table for no good reason?  (Well, actually there are so many who would go to great lengths to be physically perfect.  But this. is. not. about. looking. good!)

Maybe, that was on the feeble minds of the surgery residents - that it was about looking good.  Before they make a comment, they need to be sure.  What was the use of all that years being educated when you can't even learn how to be certain on the simplest things?

Anyway, it was all the shirt's fault!

In addition to all of this, I had to go to work wearing a cap in order to hide the bandage on my forehead.

Yaya: To Keep or Not To Keep

I feel so lucky to have a nanny for Via who dotes on her as much as her own mother.

My nanny is just turning 22 this year but she has more experience with infants than most of the nannies I've met.  She is the eldest of nine children in the family and she was the one who took care of most of them right after birth.  She even delivered one of her siblings.  (For lack of money for a midwife, her father was the one delivering the kids during birth. And one time, when her father wasn't around, she was the one who delivered.  She did it when she was 17 years old.)  So there was no question on her competence.

I have even observed her when she took Via for a bath.  She was handling Via so carefully but not awkwardly.  Unlike me, she took Via for a swift and thorough bath.  I have never heard Via cry when her nanny was giving her a bath.   Via cried once when I was the one giving her bath because her water was not lukewarm enough.

Anyway, since last March, I was the one who was going to pay for her salary.  And I was really dreading for that day because her salary is too steep in relative to what my husband and I are earning.  My husband suggested that we get another yaya.  And I got really mad because he couldn't understand my apprehension of trusting my baby to another stranger that I don't really know if I could trust the same way as my Via's yaya right now.

The nanny was from an agency who initially took care of my nephew.  And who transferred to my Via because of her "credentials" with infants when my nephew when my nephew grew old enough to stay with another nanny.  My mother was paying for her salary ever since she started taking care of my Via.

So yesterday, I talked to my mom that I can only afford to pay 3/4 of what she was earning right now.  And I asked her that maybe the nanny can do household chores or part-time work in my parents' house during the weekends.  So the nanny has to work for me five days a week only.  Just to cut the cost.  And my mother agreed. Yay!  I get to keep Via's nanny.

I'm so happy yesterday afternoon.  Parang nabunutan ako ng tinik.  I think it would be hard to work when you don't have any peace of mind regarding the daughter you left with a stranger at home.

Momma's Kinda Sick

For the past two nights, I have been having this odd feeling at the back of my throat and nasal passageways.  And I'm afraid that I'm about to have a cold or sore throat.  And since I am sleeping beside my baby and taking care of her after work, I need to be more vigilant that I won't pass any virus to her.  I started wearing masks to cover my nose and my mouth.  Also, I have been washing up with alcohol.

It doesn't matter that I'm going to have pimples because the mask makes my face oily or somewhat sticky.  And it doesn't matter if my hands get so dried up from all the alcohol washes I am doing.  As long as baby doesn't get sick, everything is A-OK.

I don't think I would know what to do if Via get's a cold.  I would really be worried.  First off, she would be able to drink her milk because sucking a feeding bottle is doubly hard when your nose is clogged or stuffed.  2nd, I don't think she will be able to sleep well if she has a hard time breathing.  Hence, she will probably be malnourished and so tired from lack of sleep.  Her discomfort will be my discomfort.

I'm crossing my fingers that my colds and impending sore throat or cough would go away soon before I pass it to my daughter.